Farewell, 2018

Happy 2019 !

While 2018 was filled with nasty lessons one after another, it is time to review the chapter and move on for the next. A few days ago, I sat down with my BFF, Adel, to do a quick recap for 2018 and vision-planning for 2019.  Each year both of us will take a day to talk about the previous year and visualise what we intend to do for the new year and we have been doing this activity for a couple of years now. Because both of us are trained to facilitate conversations, we were able to conduct it to push for better and clearer insights, and set it on an action plan. We then complete it with a vision board, where I did mine using Pinterest.com. 

Here’s the questions we asked ourselves this year. 

What did I learnt In 2018 ?

2018 has been a difficult year for everyone, I’m no exception. I had almost half the year of downtime as I tried out new business ideas as I expand and shifted my role as an agent. And I was broke AF oh gosh. Took more exams to up my game in the finance industry and saw/hear negative things of me from people I looked up to.

In 2018, I learned that it is okay to put yourself and your interests first, walk out from toxic environments and that only you will love yourself the most. I started to spend more time with myself and catching and watching the balance of my mental and physical health. I no longer is in guilt for what I do, neither do I owe anyone a living.

In 2018, like I said earlier, I made use of the downtime from my transition by taking up courses, read more and gain more. When this is published, I should have gotten my certificate for being a Certified Facilitator for The Leadership Challenge. ( Been procrastinating on the assignment! Argh ) Also, I cleared all my General Insurance papers which I’ve always wanted to do since I joined the industry.  Not just that, I up-ed my game in numberology. (Wakao it is so difficult la) 

p/s : Typing this made me so happy already. 

 I gained to know more about myself, my struggles and ways to make myself better. I’m so thankful. :) 

What is difficult to do in the start of 2018, but is manageable now .

• Getting off work to self- love

THIS is the toughest of in the list. I was pretty much always living in the shadow of someone else’s ( eg my boss my friends etc ) and constantly felt guilty when I take time off to do things I want to. Often, I get negative comments and they suck. After my career shift in the middle of the year, I decided to just f*ck it. I need to stop living for others and my past.

• Attracting financial abundance

An extension from the previous point, I was also constantly feeling that if I don’t work, I would be poor and then no time/ resources to take care of the rest. I was having hard time with my finances especially when you have about half an year of having barely no income/ surviving on very little money. It created a lot of anxiety problems for me. Thankfully, I’ve shifted my mindset. It is okay to get off work/ earn less  to do things that can make me happier and when I am happier, the rest of the things would flow. Money will also come naturally. 

• Change for being more present.

I came to a point in my life that I realised that I was either living in my past or I was in my future. I was a dreamer. Probably the reason why I couldn’t link my thoughts and actions together to turn it into the reality. I wasn't really paying attention to people in my life cause I was not present at all. I'm still learning so give me some time. For now, I take baby steps to access my present situations and think through of what are the actual useful steps for me to make.

• Take care of yourself and the universe will take care of the rest.

Yup. As real as it is.

• Acknowledging problems, be aware and resolve it.

Being part of positive living is to acknowledge the existence of problems, feelings & emotions and circumstances. It is only when we acknowledge them, we can let go and move on. That would also help to gain more awareness, and resolve issues easier. Thus, improving in our problem solving skills and adaptability.

What do you want to achieve in 2019 ?

1. Be more present and be grounded
2. Feel the fear and do it anyway.
3. Better discipline
4. Spend time and attention wisely
5. Plan for my retirement.
6. Travel more; see more; experience more;
7. Converting my business ideas into reality
8. Read more
9. Sponsor a child.

Can't wait to experience what 2019 has for me . 
Loves,
A.

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Ten years down.

Ten years, quick and easy - just flies like that.

Thanks to the #10yearchallenge , I thought it would also be nice to pen down my thoughts at this moment while reminiscing what I've been through the past ten years and to see whether I had a drastic change ! :D 

Ten years ago, I did my O'levels and graduated , I had a boyfriend, and I was looking forward to what life had installed for me. Within these ten years, I did my diploma, I fell into depressed mode, broke up with my then boyfriend, I had my down time. It was tough, real tough and I hated those days. Never a day was a looking forward to school, but thankfully I managed to strap it through. I met my BFF in school, and I'm glad we held hands and pull through those dark days and that we are in a much better place now. I spent a lot of time on the internet, there's when I made a lot of friends from the internet got closer with some of them. I remember a period when I was very active in blogging and I had products sent to my house weekly for product reviews!

I was fancy. I liked my nails to be painted all the time. I always try to look my best, quirky, spends a lot of money on clothes and basically things that would make me pretty - it was to boost my self- esteem

Ten years down, I matured, I am no longer in a relationship with someone else but in a better relationship with myself. I now had a Bachelor Degree that I fought for, some skillset up my belt and a future that I'm not quite sure about. These days, I grown to care more for others, and I know, I have so much more to achieve.

I stopped my bi-weekly manicures. These days I would only have my nails painted occasionally over festive seasons. I stopped trying to impress people, I care for my own comfort more. I wear what I like, I make myself like myself more.

We all have come far haven't we ?

Life, what challenges are you going to throw me next ?

Loves, 

A.

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25 things I've learnt at 25

1.  Mahjong
   Oh gosh, this has took me long enough. I mean like "I'm Chinese! I should I know this at the back of my mind! "
    I'm still bad at it but hey! at least I've got some basics there.
2. Be truthful towards your feelings
   
   I've been drowning myself with positive thoughts, positive vibes all these years while I keep myself out of my shit hole to realise that, hey! that's not how it works. And I realised that that's what people have been doing too.
   
   "Wrap yourself with positive people, positive vibes, positive every single thing"
   So much positivity that it can do harm than good. I've learnt to address my feelings like a little kid, by asking myself questions on what have I done right to have a great day and vice versa. Of course, on bad days, learning to grill myself with questions like : What's wrong, what caused me to feel in a certain negative way and then resolve it. ( Here you go, a good practice on Design Thinking! ) Basically finding the root of the problem and then a solution to make it better. :)
   
   
3. Categorise your friends -  "Yes" / Sour / The Guide
   
   The "Yes" friend is anyone's favourite, they agree to everything you say and of course say what you want to hear. Everyone likes things that is pleasant to them.
   The sour friend on the other hand is someone who have gotten something nasty to comment about ANYTHING. A bad listener and a worst one to heed advise from.
   The guide is one like a life coach ; that friend that makes sure you are on track and make sure you are set for your goals.
   
   None of them are bad friends, they are good in their own way but knowing which category they belong to had made me a better person/friend/team player. It helped me respond better in situations and know who to look for when I need affirmation (to the YES friend!). Sour friends are good for gossips plus they are great people who have tons of great deals. It also makes ME reflect on what kind of friend am I too as well as to who I should hang out with .
   
   
4. Create more than you consume
   
   I had to credit it to the original writer though I can't remember who. The thing is this, I've been "consuming" lot of content online, by consuming I meant reading articles, watching videos etc. I have been doing so much of that, I forgot to "return" the favour by contributing to the community with the knowledge I have! That's bad, and so I decided to share as much as I can, maximise my creativity and inspirations for and with the common good. Busy is just an excuse.
   
   
5. Skincare first, Make-up second
   Aging is real, that's what I always say and that's freaking truth. With that, it means that I age and I have to spend more money on getting my skin right. Also, learning to be comfortable with my own skin. Uncomfortable, painful and disgusting process I'm putting myself through.
   
   I try to not wear any make up as long as I'm not meeting important clients, or events to attend while taking pictures without makeup is still a huge NO. I'll learn, I promise.
   
   
6. Do what you need to do.
   If it's right or has to be done, do it, somehow.
7. Change 
   Change is this scary shit friend that freaks us all out. But the only constant is, CHANGE.. Whether you change for the best or for the worst. So feel the fear, but do it anyway.
   
   
8. Be adventurous 
   Do things that you have never done before, go places you've thought of before.
9. Life's not a buffet.
   Can't have too much on your plate, woman. It causes ingestion and there's a drop in food quality. Some days we fall for greed, we just have to remember to climb out from that.
10. Be Hungry
    Always remember for the days you do not have enough food, to remind yourself to appreciate what you have and be a better self.
11. Everyone have something to teach you.
    And if you are not open about it, you are losing out.
    My takeaway from this : NEVER JUDGE, Be kind, put on a smile and strike a conversation. You'll never know the impact that person can bring to you.
12. Fix things, mend things and not discard them
    Be it an item, or a relationship - learn from the problem first.
    
    
13. Be curious
    Have an open mind,always
14. Never Mind
    But never mind. Never mind about what people say and their opinions, never mind about mistakes.
    Never mind about the judgement.
15. Keep learning. 
    Learn from everything that comes your way - Feelings, mistakes, any life lessons
16. Numerology
    I guess the most interesting subject that I've got in touch would be to learn about numerology. Yup, upgrading my witchcraft one step at a time.
17. Do the right thing
    The world is small, the world is connected.
    Don't do shit cause people will find out.
18. It's ok to be alone
    I am totally fine with being alone, and people needs to know that.
    People needs to know that we don't need other human to be with us to survive. We came to the world alone and we will leave alone too.
19. Love yourself first
    <3
20. Fundamentals of The Leadership Challenge
    and putting the five practices into daily use. It is not something new in my life, but knowing it in-depth and finally practicing it daily is. There are still so much to become a better leader to my peers and especially towards myself.
21. The Science of Meditating
    At 25, I finally took the time off for meditation and it was one of the best decision made. It decluttered my mind, helped me be more mindful and showed more gratitude to the earth and universe.
22. Be Sincere
    Always. Be. Nice. Sincerity will lead you to great things.
23. Kindness always triumphs 
    Be Kind, even if the world fails you.
24. Take Care of yourself.
    And the universe will take care of the rest. It is only when we take care of ourselves, respect our body, communicates with our minds, the best will find its way to us.
25. You make your own happiness.
    You are the one that would put a smile on your face and you are in full control of that, and your life. 

Happy Birthday, me. 

With a lot of love, 

A.

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